Our Team
A team of pitch deck translators, Slack archaeologists, AI hype whisperers, VC logic survivors, productivity theater critics, dark pattern cartographers, corporate euphemism decoders, and recovering meeting attendees.
We’re not anti-tech.
We’re anti-nonsense.
D. Founder
The founder
D. Founder is Silly-Con Valley’s resident Reality Checker, professional observer of absurdity, and the last rational employee in the room. Armed with pattern recognition, a black t-shirt, and a deep suspicion of corporate buzzwords, he separates innovation from hype, value from valuation, and actual users from “engagement metrics.”
He is not anti-technology. He is anti-bullshit. D. still believes technology can improve the world — he just insists on asking the inconvenient questions first:
Does it actually work? Who benefits? And have we talked to users?
Cornelius “Uni” Hornworth
CIO - Chief Imagination Officer
Uni is the official mascot of Silly-Con Valley and a professional observer of startup absurdity.
Armed with a black hoodie, deadpan sunglasses, and a suspiciously high tolerance for pitch decks, Uni turns hype, buzzwords, AI hallucinations, and imaginary valuations into comedy. His superpower is spotting nonsense before the market does.
His weakness is reality, which unfortunately keeps showing up in quarterly reports.
Motto: Reality is optional.